Today is National Vinyl Record Day so we reflect on what it’s like to be in love with someone who can’t resist a record.
Date nights are a doddle- She enjoys nothing more than to sit with you while listening to one of her old crackly records. No words are necessary just each other and some good food, drink and background music.
Gifts are easy- She will probably ask you for a particular record or a voucher to choose her own, so she is easily pleased when it comes to birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries.
You’ll never be stuck for a day out- She loves to browse record fairs to add to her collection- if you want to get in her good books- this is the perfect place to do it.
Her collection is in perfect order- If you take a record out to look at it- you must put it back -exactly where you found it. It’s in alphabetical order- she will know if you mess with her system.
You have to handle them with care- If you get your oily, greasy fingerprints all over her vinyl; you run the risk of being dumped. Handle by the edges only or you will be single before you can say ’12 inch’.
Her hobby takes up a lot of space- If you ever move in together you should be prepared for her collection to take over a large portion of your living quarters. If you have a lot of stuff- it will be banished to the loft.
She has expensive tastes- While she is decisive when it comes to gifts, if she wants something rare- be prepared to shell out a lot of cash- these things don’t come cheap.
You won’t be able to just ‘pop’ into the supermarket for essentials- Places like Tesco and Sainsbury’s now sell vinyl, so if you need milk- don’t be surprised if you also leave with a bunch of records too.
Her music knowledge is off the chart- If you take her to the local pub quiz- she will get full marks on the music section and all your friends will love her because she’s an asset to your team.
Your sex life will have a soundtrack- When reminiscing about your lovemaking- it will never be ‘remember when we did that?’- it will start with- ‘we were listening to so and so and this happened…’