1. “I went to a football game on a third date with this guy I was into. I know nothing about football, but I figured he would teach me. Instead, he spent the entire game texting another girl about how he couldn’t wait to meet her and take her out. We were supposed to go back to his house afterward, but I made up an excuse and said I had to get home. There was no way he was going to get any!” —Jordan T., 26
2. “At dinner, this dude only talked about making money. Afterward, we sat on a bench, and he held my hand and said, ‘You have nice hands. I’m really into hands. I’m into something else too. I like feet. Can I give you a foot massage?’ We were outside at 9 p.m. I said no and refused to go on another date.”— Tiffany T., 25
3. “He asked me to pick him up from his parents’ house. As soon as he got in my car, we hit it off and started chatting. Suddenly, his mom knocked on the window. She had come out to give us frozen water bottles. She knew we’d be drinking and didn’t want us to get dehydrated.” —Savannah B., 24
4. “First, he was late. Then he got a pricey bottle of champagne and didn’t share any! He also ordered way more food than I did and an expensive dessert. When the bill came, he asked, ‘Can you bail me out? I’ll pay you back.’ I did. On the way home, he stopped for gas and asked for more money! I said no, and he made me get out of the car!” —Kate C., 31
5. “This guy and I were on our third date when he finally revealed to me that he lives in his mom’s basement. Then, when he took me back to his hovel, we started making out, and he whipped out his penis while letting out a long, stinky fart. I asked him, ‘Are you serious?’ and he shrugged and replied, ‘Shit happens.’ I left the basement and deleted him from my life.” —Evie W., 35
This article was originally published as “Dates From Hell” in the August 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to subscribe to the digital edition.